Dear Stephen Colbert,
I'm not sure how you found a job on a comedy channel. Your "quips" confuse me. Your "segments" are opaque. What are you trying to do?
I may not understand modern humor. Its rhythm and tone are disgusting to a man like me, who's seen what I've seen. Please forgive me if I can't laugh while Rome burns. Please forgive me if your parodies of good, conservative values make my stomach turn. Mr. Colbert, it is your mockery that sedates us before the fateful day of January 16, 2014.
Please stop being so funny before it's too late. You won't be laughing then.
Best,
A Real American
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I am not a prophet. I am not the Messiah. I happened to be in the right place at the right time: A wormhole opened up near my home on May 7th, 2029. Or what was left of my home. The world was basically destroyed on April 20th of that year. I was surviving on grass and roots when, as if risen, the wormhole appeared, and though I do not take my transportation here as a sign of God's existence, I do believe I was sent back to prevent the apocalypse.
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- My name is not important; my mission is to save the world via blogging. I come from the future. I bring a message.
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