is gaining more strength than I'd previously thought. My predictions are starting to become less likely to occur or, more and more, flat out wrong. That can only mean one thing: that people are listening and, with their reactions, changing the future. Thank you, my quiet followers! You are galvanizing me to go further. Onward and upward!
Thank you!
Friday, October 2, 2009
Monday, September 14, 2009
The Anniversary
Dear Mr. President Barack Obama,
A speech about health care outlined principles. A speech today on Wall Street did the same. Where's the beef?
If your aim is to be the Teflon president, please know that you fail. If it wasn't your aim, you're doing a good job of fooling the future historians who decide your legacy.
Rope-a-doping the Republicans won't work -- they're too tough. As Joe Wilson showed us, they will stop at nothing to defeat you. Be as smooth as lacquered wood at your own peril.
Here's why: the push and pull of politics allow the Repubs to score major gains in 2010, and though some have cast me as a right-wing ideologue, I can only count my views as apolitical -- or a-apocalypse to be more precise.
Stand strong now, or be swept up in a backlash until you put on your brilliant campaign in 2012 against Jeb Bush. Be a policy-maker or a political shaker.
America needs the former.
Best,
Bloginator
A speech about health care outlined principles. A speech today on Wall Street did the same. Where's the beef?
If your aim is to be the Teflon president, please know that you fail. If it wasn't your aim, you're doing a good job of fooling the future historians who decide your legacy.
Rope-a-doping the Republicans won't work -- they're too tough. As Joe Wilson showed us, they will stop at nothing to defeat you. Be as smooth as lacquered wood at your own peril.
Here's why: the push and pull of politics allow the Repubs to score major gains in 2010, and though some have cast me as a right-wing ideologue, I can only count my views as apolitical -- or a-apocalypse to be more precise.
Stand strong now, or be swept up in a backlash until you put on your brilliant campaign in 2012 against Jeb Bush. Be a policy-maker or a political shaker.
America needs the former.
Best,
Bloginator
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
2009 NFL Preview
1. Put your money on the Pats to win it all. I don't care how tight the odds get. Trust me.
2. Same for the Redskins to win the NFC East. Trust me.
3. Draft James Davis, Browns, and Robert Meachem, Saints, as deep sleepers in your fantasy league. Just saying.
4. Watch the Week 14 Lions @ Ravens game. You will see something you've never seen before in your life and will remember for the rest of it.
2. Same for the Redskins to win the NFC East. Trust me.
3. Draft James Davis, Browns, and Robert Meachem, Saints, as deep sleepers in your fantasy league. Just saying.
4. Watch the Week 14 Lions @ Ravens game. You will see something you've never seen before in your life and will remember for the rest of it.
Sunday, August 23, 2009
The Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
Got a recurring SNL sketch, and he had no foresight.
I can't even get a book deal, and you wonder why this economy almost self-destructed.
What fairness is left, Harper Collins? Where's the justice, Random House?
I can't even get a book deal, and you wonder why this economy almost self-destructed.
What fairness is left, Harper Collins? Where's the justice, Random House?
Thursday, August 13, 2009
On Comedy
Dear Stephen Colbert,
I'm not sure how you found a job on a comedy channel. Your "quips" confuse me. Your "segments" are opaque. What are you trying to do?
I may not understand modern humor. Its rhythm and tone are disgusting to a man like me, who's seen what I've seen. Please forgive me if I can't laugh while Rome burns. Please forgive me if your parodies of good, conservative values make my stomach turn. Mr. Colbert, it is your mockery that sedates us before the fateful day of January 16, 2014.
Please stop being so funny before it's too late. You won't be laughing then.
Best,
A Real American
I'm not sure how you found a job on a comedy channel. Your "quips" confuse me. Your "segments" are opaque. What are you trying to do?
I may not understand modern humor. Its rhythm and tone are disgusting to a man like me, who's seen what I've seen. Please forgive me if I can't laugh while Rome burns. Please forgive me if your parodies of good, conservative values make my stomach turn. Mr. Colbert, it is your mockery that sedates us before the fateful day of January 16, 2014.
Please stop being so funny before it's too late. You won't be laughing then.
Best,
A Real American
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
The Double-Dip Recession of 2007-2016
a.k.a America's Lost Decade a.k.a. Japan the Sequel a.k.a. The End of American Hegemony
I thought my blog would take off instantly. I thought I could get the message out. I thought, Hey, I've come from the future; instead of just buying up a bunch of cheap stocks and selling them all in early September, maybe I can help this country help the world avoid what I left behind: a vast wasteland of burning bodies and crumbled buildings.
But more than three months in, I have one follower. Count them. One. I thought wrong.
You're blind, Americans. And now I have discovered you can't read either. You're so myopic that you don't even understand the concept of a forest anymore.
Last chance saloon. Just to show me someone's watching, I need you to do one thing. If you are very good-looking (like, extraordinarily so) and are in or near Los Angeles or visiting any time soon, go to the bar The Dime on Saturday, August 15, and find a young man in a black, button-down shirt. Whisper to him, "I want you." He'll know what to do. Also, if you just tell someone you know who is very good-looking, this will work, too.
All best,
T1000
I thought my blog would take off instantly. I thought I could get the message out. I thought, Hey, I've come from the future; instead of just buying up a bunch of cheap stocks and selling them all in early September, maybe I can help this country help the world avoid what I left behind: a vast wasteland of burning bodies and crumbled buildings.
But more than three months in, I have one follower. Count them. One. I thought wrong.
You're blind, Americans. And now I have discovered you can't read either. You're so myopic that you don't even understand the concept of a forest anymore.
Last chance saloon. Just to show me someone's watching, I need you to do one thing. If you are very good-looking (like, extraordinarily so) and are in or near Los Angeles or visiting any time soon, go to the bar The Dime on Saturday, August 15, and find a young man in a black, button-down shirt. Whisper to him, "I want you." He'll know what to do. Also, if you just tell someone you know who is very good-looking, this will work, too.
All best,
T1000
Friday, August 7, 2009
Los Angeles
The City of Angels needs a pro football team. Now. Or else. Not for me, of course, but, as always, for the sake of the Western world. And Eastern, for that matter.
I don't care to pinpoint the reason no franchise has moved or expanded to Los Angeles since the Rams and Raiders left. Could it be that NFL owners, in order to scare up cash for a new stadium, need an empty major city to threaten their fans with moving to? It could be. Could it be that of all the Hollywood hustlers and dealmakers, there's not one who can put together an acceptable ownership group and stadium? Yes. Could it be bad luck that's about to change? Nope.
Coming from the future, I can tell you L.A. never gets a team. And when I say never, I mean never. (The planet is destroyed in 2029. Basically.) And it's so sad, because as L.A. and New York lose their influence in the coming years, the nation loses its bearings. It turns out having its two major cultural centers on each coast kept America in equilibrium.
But true Manifest Destiny requires America's greatest creation, pro football, be present in Los Angeles. The Lakers and the Dodgers just weren't enough to keep Angelinos from bursting out into the riots that led to the invocation of marshal law, which led to the Battle of Santa Monica, which led to...oh Dear God. Just give LA a team.
I don't care to pinpoint the reason no franchise has moved or expanded to Los Angeles since the Rams and Raiders left. Could it be that NFL owners, in order to scare up cash for a new stadium, need an empty major city to threaten their fans with moving to? It could be. Could it be that of all the Hollywood hustlers and dealmakers, there's not one who can put together an acceptable ownership group and stadium? Yes. Could it be bad luck that's about to change? Nope.
Coming from the future, I can tell you L.A. never gets a team. And when I say never, I mean never. (The planet is destroyed in 2029. Basically.) And it's so sad, because as L.A. and New York lose their influence in the coming years, the nation loses its bearings. It turns out having its two major cultural centers on each coast kept America in equilibrium.
But true Manifest Destiny requires America's greatest creation, pro football, be present in Los Angeles. The Lakers and the Dodgers just weren't enough to keep Angelinos from bursting out into the riots that led to the invocation of marshal law, which led to the Battle of Santa Monica, which led to...oh Dear God. Just give LA a team.
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